Past Present Future: Shopping


Past: High Street


We used to do it on the high street, in front of our neighbours, work collegues, kids we went to school with. Shopping was all local and sweet, and the brands came and oh how we loved a meet up and mooch on the way home, in our lunch break, chit chat chit. It’s Ladybird book quaint man, and for a Sunday morning we still love a bit of local, but it’s gotta be bread, deli and papers, maybe a book or gift, I want to shop with me basket, and drink coffee in the sun…it’s now our middle class dream. So for a couple of hours it’ll do, but don’t expect me to go big anymore, it’s never going to be ‘the’ frock, or ‘that’ shoe, it’s shopping light, and flick flick, bye-bye.



Present: Online


Mate didn’t the ones that did well, do well. Get a me a monotone logo, stiff smooth packaging, some perfect still life shots and it’s back-lit shopping heaven. We are busy little bees, a click and a wait and nothing in our world is disturbed. Next door will sign for it, jealous little bastards, and by the wine time ‘show and snap’ you’re like an addict already thinking about the next product thrill. Then the editorial came, the online shop magazine, oh joy! They know me, they get me, I am beauty, I am international, and no I haven’t got the patience to hunt out that backless, titanium weave black panther print crop-top, so hello portal, send it my way. We’re online, we’re always there, so where else am I going to bleedin’ do it. Cleanse, tone, practise your youthful lisp and Vogue-feature-pout and go to bed happy, you are a star.



Future: Super Mall


Babe I need a shop-on, meet me there, I wanna be the lovechild of fashy Alexa and shagable Rihanna, I need the nails, the eyelashes, the colour and the crop. Drinks are travelable and we drink them from straws like that Lolita kid right. We check out the shop boys at Hollister, double fit, and we do heaven in Topshop first, and Primark for what we can do cheap. We then we ‘nail’ and compose before a happy meal, make up counter and cocktail to the beat. All I want is to be able to go out midday, get myself some new clobber, get ma beauty done, get drunk and snog, snog, snog until the early hours. Does one mind? Better not hunny, I’m living for the weekend and this mall better give me pop star, it better give me gloss and it better keep my toes clean…if it does all this I promise I will love it forever and ever. Sick.


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